


strangers

by spaceandvinyls



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Drabble, Fluff, I wrote this in an hour, M/M, implied phan, just my thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceandvinyls/pseuds/spaceandvinyls
Summary: 2019 dan and phil send a video back to 2012 dan, struggling with his sexuality.





	strangers

“it’s been a while since we did one of these,” dan starts off, looking into the familiar camera lens. he and phil are sitting on dan’s bed, holding hands below where the frame can reach. they would have done this whole thing on phil’s bed, but his sheets are in the closet now and the room’s been converted into a guest room, which would just be more to explain in the video and not worth the effort. “it’s officially been one month since i came out and it’s been, what, two weeks since you did?” phil nods, sending a reassuring look dan’s way as he takes a deep breath in. “clearly, other things have changed, you know, my hair’s gotten pretty wild and phil’s even paler-”

“hey,” phil mutters, but smiles anyway. “the point is, of all the crazy things we’ve done over the years, coming out is probably one of the craziest.”

“other than two world tours and moving house, yeah, definitely the craziest. i went to pride last week, which was a lot of fun.” _maybe not the most fun i’ve ever had,_ dan thinks, _but close_. “phil didn’t come with, and absolutely refused to help me glue rainbow sequins on my jacket,” dan says, shooting phil a joking nasty look. “it was insane, the amount of fans, our fans, that came to pride. really, the amount of support since coming out has been insane.”

phil turns to dan, “you didn’t come out to just your audience, though. would you believe that after ten years of pretending to be straight for everyone except me, you finally came out to your friends and family?”

“it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do,” dan says and takes a minute to bite his lip, thinking about what to say next. “it was harder than living through all the hate up until you were eighteen.”

“what, telling your parents? or the audience?” phil asks.

“the audience,” dan clarifies. “you open yourself up to the same hate you got from strangers growing up, but this time to millions of strangers on a platform where it’s so easy to get away with saying things like that. and yeah, coming out to family was intimidating. but it had to be done eventually.”

“even i got hate from our fans,” phil adds, squeezing dan’s hand as dan looks away. dan uses his other hand to wipe a tear from his cheek, “more than you did, i think. it was mostly because they were the only people i had yet to tell. they were just upset, or least i hope that’s why some of them were unpleasant. at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what strangers think. they don’t know who you really are and what they’re missing out on.”

dan fixes his hair in an attempt to pretend he isn’t moments away from crying for real, but he knows his younger self will recognize his own crying. younger dan spent more of his life crying than dan does now. “i think we’re both a lot happier, now. every day is a new day without a weight on your shoulders.”

“it’s a relief,” phil agrees. “it seems like seven years is a long time to wait to finally live your truth, but it’s worth it. we both promise.” he reaches up and turns the camera off, then turns his attention to dan and pulls him into his arms. “what’s wrong, dan? i thought this was supposed to be a happy video.”

“talking to him, to me, it reminds me of how hopeless i felt,” dan mumbles against phil’s shirt. “i can’t believe i survived it all.”

“you’re so strong, dan,” he whispers back. “you always have been.”

they sit like this for a while, phil rubbing circles into dan’s back. dan finds comfort in phil’s heartbeat, something he’s done since they met. and looking back on it, phil’s the one who kept dan going. phil, the only stranger that ever told him his existence was okay.


End file.
